I need help removing her.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
