I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
We need to get me chipped asap
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
