okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Randomize
