; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Randomize
