how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
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