yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
