laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Randomize
