ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Are my feet made of real feet?
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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