Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Randomize
