it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
