This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
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