Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
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