So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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