i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
