oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
