she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
