i was born a porn star she said
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Randomize
