I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
