Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
