I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
we're making bets on your personal life
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
