from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
The struggles of a small town man whore
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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