he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Randomize
