did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Randomize
