Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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