franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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