god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize