you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
