how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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