it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
