well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
