walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Randomize
