Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
