Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
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