you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
Holy sore nipples Batman
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
