I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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