i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I licked your asshole in confidence.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
