somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
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