the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Randomize