She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Randomize
