Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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