if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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