my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
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