Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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