i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
