The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Randomize
