it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
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