Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
