god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
