My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
Randomize
