I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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