I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
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