I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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