i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
i would punch a child for taco bell
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Randomize
