can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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